The following article contains spoilers for episode one of Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story.

I love period dramas. And I love TV shows about murderous women. So, I decided I should probably give Netflix’s Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story a go. The latest instalment in Ryan Murphy’s franchise, and the first to centre on a woman – after , Lyle and Erik Menendez and it follows the titular heiress (Ella Beatty), who became the prime suspect for the brutal murders of her father (Charlie Hunnam) and stepmother (Rebecca Hall) in Fall River, Massachusetts in 1892. But if the real story is wild, this retelling is something else entirely – off-the-wall crazy, to say the least. These are the 35 burning questions I’ve been haunted by since watching the first episode of the new eight-part series.

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1. How much am I already supposed to know about Lizzie Borden?
2. Is it an American thing?
3. I’ve never heard this rhyme/song before?
4. How did those sliding doors open by themselves when Lizzie attacks her father?
5. Is this a fantasy?
6. Why do all the characters look so clammy?
7. Why is this show obsessed with period blood?
8. Did people really say “menses” in the 19th century?
9. Is all the food supposed to look disgusting?
10. Did Lizzie’s dad just say “powfagged”?
11. Did her stepmum just say “flapdoodle”?
12. Do all the performances need to be so… big?
13. Is Maggie, the original maid, okay?
14. Is anyone having more fun than Rebecca Hall?
15. Did Mrs Borden really make her maids drink dirt tea?
16. How much of this is actually based on reality?
17. Why is Bridget sniffing and touching the period blood stain so much?
18. Was it normal for coffin makers to chop off the feet of corpses?
19. How will he dispose of these feet?
20. Was it normal to name your axes?
21. How can Bridget clean this whole giant house by herself and actually keep it spotless?
22. Are wooden 19th-century vibrators really a part of the Lizzie Borden story?
23. Did Bridget just say “cunny”?
24. Is she kind of grooming Lizzie?
25. How old is Lizzie supposed to be, exactly?
26. Why would sex toys be prescribed for heavy periods?
27. How does Bridget have time to clean if she’s just having tea with Lizzie?
28. Could they have done a better job of making Charlie Hunnam look younger in this flashback?
29. How is Mrs Borden okay after drinking formaldehyde?
30. Did people really apply arsenic powder to their décolleté?
31. Why do they keep using the song “Cherry Bomb”?
32. Was Lizzie Borden really inspired by the story of the “blood countess”?
33. Did Bridget really have an affair with Mr Borden?
34. Did Lizzie and the maid actually bathe in cherry juice?
35. What the hell did I just watch?

Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story is streaming now on Netflix.