The following article contains spoilers for The Celebrity Traitors’ first two episodes.
It’s that time of the year – when the UK briefly gets really into water cooler TV, like it’s the Noughties again. I’m talking, of course, about , which will likely be the main topic of conversation in your office every morning for at least the next month or so. And, having just wrapped up its first week, it’s already been a blinder. We’ve got Ross Kemp acting like he’s evading kidnap from the cartel every time he gets lightly brushed on the arm. We’ve got Texan supermodel and Studio 54 darling Jerry Hall, who rightly seems to care only about showcasing her “fabulous outfits”. And we’ve got Myha’la, who is so insistent that she’s not like ’s Harper Stern that she’s starting to seem a lot like ’s Harper Stern.
But we were also left with questions. Plenty of them. So, as we await the next episodes, here are the 47 burning questions we’re still pondering after the first week of .
- Why did Richard E Grant tell everyone he was a traitor?
- Does he know how the game works?
- Why didn’t he think of even one good excuse?
- Like, even an “it was a joke” would have sufficed?
- Or “I was testing you”?
- Isn’t he supposed to be good at acting?
- Couldn’t he have practised a few lines?
- Please can nobody get rid of Jerry Hall so that we can see all of her pre-planned looks?
- Jerry’s going to be murdered, isn’t she?
- Does anyone else really want to see more of her friendship with Romesh Ranganathan and Rob Beckett?
- Or, will it be Hannah Fry who’s murdered, because she’s definitely too smart?
- Will the person that survives, out of Jerry and Hannah, then be under immense scrutiny?
- Why did Sebastian Croft run like that during that ship challenge?
- Why did Miranda Hart have so much soil all over her face during that graveyard challenge?
- What was that pearl chain Claudia had on her trousers and where can I get one?
- Was Ross Kemp really held at gunpoint in Papua New Guinea?
- No wonder he’s so paranoid?
- It is kind of funny though?
- Would someone really be “recruited in plain sight” with a captain’s hat placed on their head?
- On this show, I guess maybe?
- What do you think these people do on their days off?
- Will Bella Ramsey get more heat?
- And what about Leigh-Anne Pinnock?
- Can we please let people put on make-up when they want?! She’s on TV!
- Is it me or does the breakfast look nicer than the normal one?
- James Acaster could easily use Richard E Grant as a sacrifice, but I’m guessing he’s not evil enough?
- Is anyone else surprised by how good Maya Jama is at being a traitor?
- Should Myha’la stop talking about how much she wanted to be a traitor?
- Will it help her to be recruited or just get her banished?
- Doesn’t Joe Lycett seem just a little too relaxed? If I didn’t know who the traitors were, I’d suspect him.
- Hasn’t Michael Sheen been too quiet? I guess it’s a tactic, and it’s working.
- Is Romesh and Rob’s friendship an advantage or a disadvantage?
- Wouldn’t Julie Hesmondhalgh be a great recruit down the line?
- Was her going up to everyone and complimenting them in the church a tactic or just because she’s a lovely person?
- Why don’t they ban the “you’d make a really good traitor” excuse at the roundtable? Enough already!
- How long will this bunch manage to stay this polite for?
- Richard E Grant’s a goner isn’t he?
- Otherwise, wouldn’t they have shown us some of the votes at least?
- It’s a landslide against him, then, I guess?
- Will Maya and James also vote for Richard?
- They’ll look super suspicious if they don’t, though, and he still goes?
- Why is Joanne McNally so defensive of Richard?
- What will Richard say in his leaving speech?
- If Richard goes, will Maya and James be given the option to recruit?
- Could they recruit anyone, or does it have to be Jerry or Hannah?
- If neither Jerry nor Hannah is murdered, will that make them look like traitors?
- And if, for some wild reason, it’s not Richard who goes… then are these the most gullible faithfuls of all time?!
