n lots of ways, the arrival of autumn makes getting dressed easier. Not having to shave above your knees. Enough pockets to make a handbag optional. But it's not all plain sailing. For instance, I don't think we talk enough about how hard it is to carry off a leather jacket.

I thought maybe it was just me. And then I came across Lucinda Chambers – Vogue fashion director for 25 years, now co-curator of gorgeous platform of desirables Collagerie – remarking that she found leather jackets tricky. Lucinda is without a doubt one of the best-dressed women in London, always rocking a strong look – colour, stripes, great jewellery, unexpected shoes – so I was amazed and a bit gratified to find even she struggles.

The trouble with leather jackets is they tend to wear you, rather than you wearing them. They sort of cannibalise your personality. And while they are very cool and chic, I don't want to look like a walking coat.

Fashion is insistent about leather jackets this autumn. Ideally a funnel-necked one, generously proportioned, zipped or buttoned high around the neck, sometimes almost to the chin. This jacket can be traced directly back to Phoebe Philo, who made dramatic funnel-neck outerwear a signature of the first collection from her own label in 2023. Since then, it has spread everywhere, from Khaite to Cos.

The leather jacket is not a problem for Philo herself, obviously, because Phoebe could wear a sleeping bag and somehow make everyone else feel horribly un-chic. The rest of us need to work a little harder. Leather has a more physical presence than most fabrics. It enters the room several seconds before you do. The stiffness means the jacket tends to hold its own silhouette rather than adapting itself politely to yours. The sheer bulky expanse of it means a lot of visual real estate. You wear it because you want to feel a bit tough, but you end up feeling like a fire door.

Counterintuitively, given that it adds yet more jacket, a high funnel neck makes the whole thing feel more elegant. A biker jacket has cultural baggage: Marlon Brando, motorbikes, the open road. A funnel neck has less attitude, more line. The vertical sweep towards the face is clean and graceful, a rock'n'roll Audrey Hepburn.

Also counterintuitively: a generous cut is less overwhelming than a tight one. You might imagine a neat, cropped leather jacket would be an easier option to wear, but a loose fit looks more feminine and luxurious. There should be room for air to circulate between you and your jacket – so you don't look vacuum-packed.

Some other questions to consider. Hair first, because nothing works if your hair looks rubbish. Long hair tends not to sit well outside a leather jacket, because unless you are blessed with lustrous ropes, the bulk of the jacket will make your locks look puny. The hair tuck, where you catch your hair inside the collar, is pleasingly Philo-coded (she invented it), but you do risk looking as if you accidentally zipped yourself into your jacket. A ponytail or messy bun is our safest bet.

What to wear on the bottom half? I'd swerve a leather skirt or trousers, unless you are either Rihanna or on your way to commit a daring jewellery heist. You are getting dressed, not upholstered. Controversially, jeans wouldn't be my first choice either. Jeans and a leather jacket sounds like a classic combination, but it tracks a bit too rugged. Some element of softness – a skirt, a soft trouser – is key.

If you are still nervous, consider avoiding black. Burgundy or chocolate still goes with everything, and the softer the colour, the less likely the jacket will swallow you whole. What it comes down to is this: don't let your leather jacket boss you around. Yes, it seems to demand stompy boots and a tough attitude, but you can resist its attempt to dictate terms. Put it on over a stripy jumper and go to the garden centre. A leather jacket, like a toddler, needs to know who is in charge.

Styling: Melanie Wilkinson. Model: Imogen May at Milk. Hair and makeup: Sophie Higginson using . Asos. Check trousers, £49.99, Zara. Large hoop earrings, £44.99, Pilgrim. Heels, £46, Topshop.