I am a happy and self-confessed couch potato, so at this time of year, when all the good telly starts coming back to our screens, I am the proverbial pig in shit. Your , your , your : I love them all – especially when the viewing experience involves critiquing the efforts and skill levels of others (“That’s a terrible paso doble”), ideally while sitting on my arse eating chocolate buttons.

Best of all, though, is . And while I’m slightly more partial to the civilian version, the celeb edition is a worthy enough substitute to tide me over. So far, however, the action in this year’s series has been a little slow-moving, which has meant that I’ve been a bit distracted, and have found myself particularly amused by the celebs’ clothes. Some of them have clearly been styled to within an inch of their lives, while others are just rocking up and having a laugh with it. In the spirit of making judgments about others from the comfort of my sofa, then, here are a few of my favourite wardrobes, and what they say about the people behind them.

As someone who lives in south east London, I was sad to see Myha’la go in episode three, because she was sort of like a comfort blanket for me personally – in that her rimless glasses, baby tees and tiny eyebrows simply reminded me of the beloved sights of home. She deserved longer and I will miss her Queen-of-the-Bushwick-Instagram-boutiques slay.

Jerry Hall absolutely hums with the vibe of a glamorous aunt or godmother who swooshes in every couple of years and gives all the kids in the family £50 notes – “I don’t do credit, honey” – and duty-free cigarettes, doesn’t she? What a woman. What ! Jerry’s ensembles, which tend to be built around Thom Browne knitwear, and nod to the country-house aesthetic of , are perfectly judged. I bet she smells fabulous, too.

Raided the cupboards somewhere in the bowels of the BBC labelled “Football pundit, normal” and “Football pundit, quirky”, respectively, before they arrived. God bless them.

Black T-shirts. Breathable shorts. Waterproof materials, for some reason. This is a man ready for hand-to-hand combat at any moment. He is stealth, he is danger, and I do actually think he believes the Traitors are really murdering people and that he must wreak his vengeance in this life and the next. I would honestly not be surprised if he’d packed a balaclava in his suitcase. In fact, I am hopeful of its appearance. I’d also like to say that the BBC earned its licence fee in one go this year when it put Ross Kemp on the end of a battering ram.

In terms of the logistics of how is actually played, it’s understood that the cast are carted off individually every night, away from the castle, and into the nearby hotel(s) they’re staying at. I’d be surprised if Maya Jama was able to move around in her room for the amount of styling racks in the gaff, because she turns up to set every day looking like she’s about to shoot a magazine cover. She does not, as the saying goes, play. Clearly, she and her team worked meticulously pre-show to put looks together for each day, and it’s paying off: if you’re the HBIC of the traitors contingent, you’re going to need every sharp-shouldered coat and vaguely mob wife-adjacent furry jacket you can get. Brava.

Remember when that photo of Boris Johnson’s mug collection went viral because everyone was like, “Why the fuck has the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom got such a weird assortment of mugs, up to and including an old Mini Eggs one?” Those mugs are what Richard E Grant’s wardrobe makes me think of. His mad, mismatched country-estate-gardener get-up surprised a few people when he rocked up looking slightly more Withnail and I than we might have anticipated, but it does actually make total sense. This slightly mental combination of knackered, belted Barbour and cravat-style scarves (“When you’ve got the hunt at 3 and the BAFTA screening at 7”) is the practical uniform of the Actually Posh. In the same way that incredibly fancy people do just have homes absolutely heaving with crap and knick-knacks (including, say, random-arse mug collections), their wardrobes tend to have that same throwback, jumble-sale feel. You absolutely know that Stacey Solomon would have a field day with Richard E Grant’s living room.

Since his appointment as “reluctant traitor”, a funny thing has happened to one James Acaster. The comedian has been christened the internet’s new boyfriend, and my oh my, doesn’t he have the outfits to back it up? Grey hoodie, gilet, pair of Keens – and I’d be shocked if there weren’t a few pairs of Service Works slacks in his arsenal. Make no mistake: this is a Grow Your Own Fiancé for millennial, city-dwelling women looking for a man to adopt a sausage dog and argue in Sainsbury’s with.